Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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