UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
