He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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