Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
