I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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