Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize