So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
