i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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