"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
