i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
