I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
