Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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