The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
