If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
