Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
