No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
