She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
