i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
