Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
