is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
