Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
