do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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