drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
