This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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