i think my mom watched the whole time
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize