just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize