He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
