You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
