Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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