Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
