My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize