it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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