Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
