You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
