I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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