so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
