I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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