32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
