I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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