No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
