I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
