uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have post one night stand depression
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