first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
