so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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