At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize