Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
