Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
