You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Couch. On fire.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
