Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
