Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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