matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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