is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
