he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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