Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He shit in the fireplace
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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