none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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