Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
