i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
