we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
