It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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