i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
