Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
