Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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