i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize