yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
third nipple confirmed
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize