sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
