I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize