I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
