I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
